Hands Played August - 58241
Guess I should say something here every once in awhile lol. Utter madness. Complete madness. Still running significantly below EV every day since the middle of July. I have never seen anything like this in all my 5 million hands played lifetime. I think I am completely insane and therefore immune to it by now. Because no normal human being could possibly deal with this.
I have completely lost confidence in my ability to win or even play well several times through this 150k hand stretch. I have questioned and changed my game several times. I am currently playing a bit better because I am allowed to make some money again. But basically my day consists of counting down the time until it says 10k hands in HEM so I can quit. Because everything in between is just chaos.
Every day, every session is just a new absurdity. I lost 900bb today in set over set situations alone. I don't even know how that is possible. But who cares? Its just a fucking circus.
My plan is to just keep putting in massive volume everyday until I break this downswing and get my confidence back. Then I can try and move up again. One good thing about this month is that Stars seems to have forgotten to turn off their micro mania promotion? I am getting VPP at .036 this month at NL5. So that helps.
There is one quote that I have always remembered. It was authored by "Irieguy" in a classic 2+2 post from way back in the day. It rings truer and truer every time I read it.
"Everybody will eventually run worse than they thought was possible. The difference between a winner and a loser is that the latter thinks they do not deserve it."